I mean how about 20 years from now. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. And his arms were as "worked out" as he promised. That moment when nothing else matters and u give ur life to someone… Well truth is this happens between men and women up to 40 years in age difference. Give these fantastic apps a try!
I love him to death but he is from an old fashioned family, they instilled this notion that a man must marry an younger woman to keep him young. We plan to marry in June and I do not take such a commitment lightly. I feel like I need to based on what some women seem to be saying because mine are probably getting lost in the shuffle and I need to work at keeping myself visible. I caught her eye this time and being a cop got her license plate and her name address and even though her number in the phone book was under Mr. The other two were my age. Although, once at the table when we were hanging out doing a crossword puzzle, her hubby yelled out, "Well, you could SPANK me. The first guy i met was ok.
He has to wake up early for work, but we were still talking and making out till late when we saw each other. After 3 weeks, i had crazy feelings for him, and he seemed to have too. He canceled one of the dates for seemingly legit reason. I was cool about it, and told him that its ok, and we can see each other some other time.
After that, he became very distant. Disappeared for a few days, then messaged again apologizing telling me about the problems he had. Then he would just randomly message me every few days, but never offered to go out again. And eventually just stopped messaging me. I think men and women gave different problems with online dating, but we ha e it equally hard. Guys don't get responses, women find players.
I completely agree with what a lot of men are saying. I was married 30 years only to be violently attacked by an alcoholic wife. I set myself out there and the women just play games. They say stupid things and just look for attention. I'm seriously disappointed in what appears to be the feminist movement in this country. They try to use their sexual prowess instead of their intelligence, which most are seriously lacking, and again, play games.
They are not serious and don't care about a good relationship. I'm sure it's true there are a lot of men jerks but we are all stereotyped that way.
Please be ladies OK? Have some respect for the opposite sex and if you're not serious just stay the heck away all right? There are good men like me out there. And you ladies that look so good in your photographs are just absolutely narcissistic and hideous with the way you speak to us. Please get over yourselves and take your meaningless time wasting profiles down and go gaggle in the mirror at yourself.
It's really too bad. I have been giving this a good shot for months and actually have made a few good friends but have run into so many Queen bees that I am ready to give up. It is really is a waste of money and time. Every review that I read about online dating is a bad one. The whole industry is sickening; praying on the people that yearn to love and be happy only to let them down. In one state in Australia where I live I've found it even more difficult to meet a good, down-to-earth woman online.
I don't put women on pedestal, had my fair share of relatioships but I"m also shy and busy so i'd really like to see some online dating work. I'm in no rush, but why can't I just find a healthy smart woman who is NOT self-obsessed, for some good online conversation?? At least most guys get some kind of comment. I was on four different popular sites in the last few years I got only a wink or very short text and just one. Met only one woman at a car show for two hours then she got a call and had to get going.
I'm real shy too but I feel I sent out some really good icebreaker messages, I put a lot of thought into them, to always sound upbeat and funny.
But never got any comment, not even a thanks but no thanks, seems like they don't even get them, but the scammers sure answer quick with a too good to be true letter and great pictures. I was married for fourteen years and divorced for eleven.
Was her idea for the split, shes remarried a few years I can't even get a date yet. Think she put a curse on me lol. Can't believe so many people jump in bed on the first date, both sexes. It's that kind of life style that hurts so many people,that nobody trust anybody anymore and I can't say that I blame them. Which I've never done before, maybe this will work, who ever reads this might know of somebody through the grape vine. I know there's good ones out there I just read some of there letters here.
There's too many bad ones out there in the way of us good one's. I Know this is a little off the wall but I'll give it a shot. If there's any good one's out there please I'd love to meet you.
I'm trying something different, by, bypassing all the dating services. Because, really from the comments I've read about all these dating sites. There's a lot of unhappy people out there, wish they'd quit playing games and say what they really think, that's what I try to do. The same pigs have shown up on all of the dating apps I have used. I originally started with plenty of fish, where I met two very good long-term friends, but no romantic chemistry. The majority of the other users were soliciting inappropriate photos and sending them as well.
A few mentally unstable messages followed rejections. There are just as many people looking for hook ups on match. Disappointing as to what society has become. I don't agree entirely with this article..
I use dating sites and am smart using them, as a result I don't get harassed. If the woman is smart and secure of herself instead of making it easy for the man it would make dating for a female easier.
A lot of women are Insecure of themselves and a man can sense that, if I get a sexualized message instead of being afraid I just message back and say"you're disgusting best of luck.
Just saying an insecure woman who acts fearful is more bound to be harassed on these sites. I've also met and dated plenty of men from free dating sites that are seeking a commitment, don't assume ALL men only want a hookup that's not at all true. More so want Casual stuff but if you spend enough time online you'll meet decent men that want a relationship.
I had 2 boyfriends come from OkCupid, there are good ones online too. Don't make yourself vulnerable and easy for the men! Nail very much hit on the head. Online dating for girls that are decent and offline for that matter requires work and a combination of common sense, good judgement and patience. Same thing for decent guys going online - it requires work and there are guides out there that go a bit further than the generic "read her profile" advice given here if guys looked hard enough for them and that easily help them stand out.
I think the problem is these days people are more desperate than ever for a quick fix and dismiss new ideas if they don't see sparks flying first go. I saw similar things in college where most my friends got brutally negative, generic and uninformed advice particularly if parents had no clue about their field if they hadn't gotten a job within 1 week of graduation.
You cant seriously sitt there and say honestly that women have dating harder than men. I mean seriously, is that honestly what you think? You watch as your sanity melts away from the slow burning tourture of loanliness, you would go mad, anyone would.
It amazes me how selfish women are, it really does, id love to give you all my pain just for one day sso you would understand the utter hopless misery that men have to face!
I hate this life i just want to die. I just cant beleive any woman would sit there and say she has it harder than men. You have no idea what decades of blanket rejections and loanliness would do to you, it would kill you, its true hell.
Yeah obviously easier for women. Men have to work hard even to get validation from girls while women have men blowing up their phones boosting their ego by chasing them. Guys be happy with even unwanted attention from opposite sex. Women can't make up their minds because of all their o ptions. While men don't have nearly the same amount of options or experience.
They can get attention and sex easily while guy gets neither easily cuz he has to compete for it. Competing, chasing and getting rejected can be so discouraging that you question if it's worth it if girls are so narcissistic and dismissive to guys' advances.
Women never deal with rejection the way guys do. They never put themselves in that position and so they are constantly avoiding rejection and receiving positive attention from guys chasing them. Why sex so "creepy? Means guy attracted to you. Take it as a compliment. Why society berate the guy for being a man?!
You put up a pic, put little work into your profile, and yet expect so much from the guys who contact you? You even admit you receive nice messages, but refuse to even acknowledge such guys? Not even a simple thank you back? What does that say about you?? Congrats on the ego stroke, but I'm not taking the bait. Lot of guys of looking for someone to actually date, and you aren't that person.
Your advice simply does not apply. Lots of good n bad on it. As soon as i read your name i knew you were an Aussie, i agree with your sentiments regarding dating sites, they're about as barren as some pubs are these days I was recently scammed on Match. There have been class action suits against Match for portraying themselves with 15 million users when only a million are paid subscribers and the rest contain a lot of scam artists looking to relieve you of your cash.
The whole site is a scam in the sense they want to auto renew your subscription which is hard to stop once you sign up. I wonder if any of the people on the site are real at all! It is and some are, had a bunch of dates on there before I met my girlfriend who we now live together and have a beautiful baby boy with Where as in the real world it is harder for men to key in on victims.
You just have to be more careful use an extra screening process and not take things so personal knowing it is a numbes game and nothing that is exceptional should be expected or necessarily easy to obtain Just like life if you want something special sometimes it takes hard work!
I think I'm being scammed. I put a report with the fbi a month ago. I'm waiting for them to respond. I'm keeping him on the hook until I hear from the agency. So they can take over and catch him. I've been asked for money. His company name I have researched. It's a generic website and the addresses I looked up for his offices show no record of his company ever being there. Lease records and such. He has an Enflick voip number, but his last picture looks like a location of what he's stated.
I can't find evidence his pictures are reposts of someone else. How do I proceed safely until the authorities arrive? I am a good looking guy not a model will not say that not arrogant but 5'10 and pounds.
Last time l was online dating was about 10 years ago meet my ex wife and the mom of our daughter through lavalife. This time I find pof a total waste of time I am a gold member but our of couple of dozens ladies I contacted 1 only replied back and she told me you are a really nice man and wish you best of luck but just started to date a man.
I am only 40, leave in greater Vancouver, bc have a good job and rent a 2 bedroom place on my own plus drive a suv. It seems maybe wrong that the idiot men have flooded the ladies to Mt he point they tune out even great men or that many sadly l suspect accounts on pof now are fake. Either way l am at the point of giving up and l am sure l was not the first or last normal nice man to reach this point due to no ladies replying back at all.
Dont give up fella, just work harder and lower expectations of how quickly results should come I've been doing online dating for only a few months seriously. Anyway, what I am seeing is a growing disconnect and a lot of people getting disgruntled. I have to admit I was too in the beginning. I think it is because one develops expectations based on statistics instead of reality. I thought, at first, "wow, so many women to see who I really am"!
Statistically speaking, I should get a few responses. So I start examining the numbers game and thought I could play a little with it. I want to be strategic about this, right?
I try to throw in a little humor if I can, but my first message, if there is something in her profile, ALWAYS contains at least one if not a few references to hers. I write in complete sentences and try to seek ways to spark a conversation. I make no lewd comments whatsoever. I don't even reference anything about looks except once and that was a weak moment on my part since she her picture affected me that way, plus it was an experiment to see if venturing there yielded anything different.
I also try to not be unrealistic as far as types of women I try to engage. I am 52, 6' 2", a little under lbs, no paunch, somewhat athletic and active, and I feel I am decent looking but have no idea how to quantify that. After reading about how to write a profile, I feel I've written a strategically thorough yet somewhat concise one. I will say that overall, I am an eclectic type that's hard to describe very thoroughly: I am personally open to a wide variety of situations, but I feel most women want some kind of commitment.
I don't game because I haven't dated in almost thirty years. I had been married for about 27 years and now divorced for a year. So I am not even sure what this "game" they keep talking about really is, although I have an idea. Whatever it is, I would certainly abide by the wishes and expectations of whomever I want to see and date. What are you doing? If I try to go deeper at all, they either disappear or keep repeating themselves probably catfishers since other things about their profiles make their seeking me unrealistic.
Then, I have had a couple go a few sentences longer, but almost all have ended. Unfortunately, one had a legitimate mental disorder from traumatic brain injury. I tried to make this one work, but we just could never connect. One other one is so far away, I am still seeing where it goes. But so far, at best we'll be friends and no dates unless I travel over miles to another country.
I've sent dozens of messages not hundreds yet , along with "winks" do these even work? I am paid on POF so I can see where a ton aren't read. A few read, some read then deleted and some deleted outright. I respect the deleted ones, so I don't even bother. A few of those were probably out of my league anyway I was too old, or they were way more active or maybe interests didn't match. I had hoped that I would have gotten a little more response out of the others, especially ones who were mutual "meet me" that POF has.
But even that didn't garner a response. So then I don't know if sending more messages is expected, tacky, pestering, or what. I feel like I need to based on what some women seem to be saying because mine are probably getting lost in the shuffle and I need to work at keeping myself visible.
So, in my disappointment, I have been researching what is really going on. I've found many posts like this about what women "deal with". And I find it interesting how they have the opposite challenge most of the time. And I was honestly surprised at how jaded they get, but I don't blame them because of all these goofball, creepy, lewd, stalker responses they get. Now I see a dilemma.
The nice guys, of which I consider myself right at the center of not so nice that I would be boring, but definitely nice enough to be respectful of a woman and her boundaries and that no means no , can't get responses let alone dates.
The nice women seem to get nothing but tons of messages to try to wade through. Who knows where all the drain and noise is coming from, though we know the sources such as scammers, desperate loser types, stalkers, catfishers, etc. And there doesn't seem to be too much that can be done about limiting that. However, if we are aware of it, we can do things to try to counter it.
It also seems that we need to become more strategic and not so bitter about how to approach all of this. I see where a bridge needs to be built here somehow.
Maybe the nice guys need to be recognized more somehow by getting in kind responses from women. If you get a nice initial message, at least say no thank you and even a brief idea of how good the message was. Us guys get no clue whether we are sending out the right message or not. It would even be nice to get some kind of rating system going like eBay or something. This weird limbo of never knowing if it was the message, the profile, the pictures or if who we messaged is overwhelmed is really tough to deal with.
It would also be nice to have women realize that if they are getting decent if not outright nice messages more than once from a guy, that these guys are just trying to stay on top of the crap that that woman is otherwise getting; that they aren't stalking or pestering, they are just wondering if they are getting heard at all.
I don't know what to do about the jerks. I think a lower percentage of guys that are like this are out there. But for some reason these idiots are taking up all of the dating bandwidth. And about the only thing I can see nice guys who really want this to work bringing to the table is to just not get bitter and disappointed. I don't know, it is really hard to see how to break this cycle that is destroying online dating for the majority of us. It would be helpful to know that possibly a new kind etiquette be understood by women that repeat messages that are nice should be acceptable and that we men kindly engage them with these; that we get a chance to overcome the idiots by countering them somehow.
Also, maybe people could work up some kind of meta-dating situation something like responding to websites about online dating or, as I said above, some kind of rating system? For me, online dating is about my only hope of meeting anyone. I am not religious nor do I drink, even coffee it puts me to sleep. I have food allergies and sensitivities. I work online from home.
As a result, I don't go to any place of worship, I don't club or do bars, I can't eat at any restaurants, and I don't have a work environment with other people. I actually have very few friends despite my best efforts.
I keep running across so many people with involved lives of which I am just not a part including my family. So, online is the only place I can even think about meeting people. I go for walks in the park, to the library, and around downtown. What also challenges me is that I am fairly introverted.
On top of all this being much older, I have not the foggiest idea on how to hit up a conversation with a woman I've never met before.
I didn't when I was twenty I met my former wife through very unusual circumstances involving an acquaintance and what little dating I did then I did all though people I knew. How am I going to do it at over fifty and not seem weird? Another approach I am trying is to get involved with community events and groups. But once again, very few, if any women attend what I tend to go to, let alone any who are in my age group and meet other modest criteria, none having to do with "looks".
For instance, I go to a drum circle the only one within 30 miles of me. Of available women who show up a few unavailable do , it is pretty much just one in her 80s along with over twenty guys. Women tend to do things like Zumba, dance, yoga or other exercise classes where if I showed up, it would be creepy since it will be assumed I am there for only one reason.
I would love it if I would be accepted as a drummer for belly or tribal dance, but alas, the same creep factor seems to be at play. Well, I could probably say more, but I hope to start a conversation about what can really be done about this issue and not just complaining about it. I would really like to overcome the disconnect with what is happening between guys and gals and to renew proper expectations. Otherwise, it will become one of the biggest fails of our technological communications age.
David, what an extremely sensitive and impressive person you are, they are very pwrceptive observations would have been nice to write you up as a friend Do you ever submit correspondence on quora..?
Upload your photo's and fill your profile. Look for the bad ones and write a blog post. Start looking for men. Initiate the conversation with the man, and let him rate you as you like to rate men. Not all guys are bad, but not all women are either, and for every man out there sending women messages that women don't want there is a woman out there who thinks she is worth more then men so she doesn't have to give what she takes.
You've been telling men they are doing it wrong for centuries. How about you step up to the plate then? I am trying once again with the online dating. I read the response of the recently divorced 62 year old man in Vancouver. If you haven't been on a date in 27 years, don't be too disappointed if you can't get one right away.
As you said, you and your recent ex were introduced. Probably you had mutual acquaintances and got the opportunity to know one another over time. The only relationships I ever had started this way.
Through friends, meeting at a party, seeing the person regularly in my community. If you don't drink, you can still no to a bar. There are loads of places where people socialize, listen to music, dance. Have a club soda if you don't drink alcohol.
I try to read the on line profiles of the men who send me messages. I am never married with no kids. A recently separated man is not for me. He is not actually single. I dated a man who claimed to have been divorced for many years. He is very involved with his ex wife mother of his adult son as she had an accident and is helping to take care of her. The son 30 years old is a good kid but has a miriad of personal and health problems.
He also had a large extended family he spends a lot of time with. This is great, but I was wondering where I fit in. Apparently he is looking for a lover and was VERY forward practically dove on me on our first date. I am a slow starter and do not appreciate this type of thing. On line dating is not so easy for the over 50 set.
Also, since I am not divorced, I usually ask the men why they are divorced. Most do not want to talk about it, so that is a non starter for me. If the person cannot express to me why their marriage did not work out, their are probably a lot of thing they will not be able to express to me. Just hang in there.
Consider yourself lucky for having had a long marriage. If their is a particular reason why your marriage ended, reflect on it honestly so you can communicate it to a new woman who comes into your life.
She will probably ask about it. In the meantime, don't think about all the limitations you express about all the reasons you cannot "go out". You say you go to the park. Ask a woman to meet you there.
You don't have to drink coffee. Just buy one for her. Can you go to a museum? If you get to know her better and you like each other, you can cook a meal for her. Take her to a concert, go to a play. There are loads of graduate schools that put on excellent performances of all kinds that are very reasonably priced or free.
How in the world do you expect to meet a woman if you do not move away from your computer screen? If you do not step out from. I paid for an eHarmony subscription for a year because I heard such positive reviews about their matchmaking algorithm, but found that many of the guys also had profiles on POF so I didn't see the point in paying anymore.
EHarmony was great in that you could only connect with someone with whom you were deemed compatible, but new matches were sent infrequently. POF allows anyone to contact anyone so it is easy to be bombarded with unwanted messages from incompatible suitors, but it's free.
My biggest complaint about online dating is the deplorable lack of manners and grammar. I don't believe I have ever received a message containing even one punctuation mark in the two years I've been a member on POF, and the messages can be outright lewd!
I've also been the target of a determined fellow more than once, so it really comforted me to read this author experienced the same. I do not engage with users who are disrespectful, have clearly not read my profile, or lack even a basic understanding of spelling and grammar, and I typically delete these unwanted messages.
If you're reading this, guys, please take the author's advice and actually read our profiles before you randomly solicit us for sex, and for heaven's sake use complete sentences! I look for men who DONT want children I have them already, and finding someone who is happy to date a single mum Even if getting attention IS easy, does it mean the man is necessarily right for me?
I read the profiles carefully. And if they read mine carefully, they might discover that I am really not right for them. I get attention from men all the time. And I speak to men all the time. Finding a special person is not easy for a man or a woman. Speaking from personal experience, a man who has poor hygiene and no employment or income is not the man for me.
He doesn't have to be rich. I will not date a man who asks me to borrow money or cannot pay for a cup of coffee. If he cannot bother to take care of his teeth, shave or put on a clean shirt, what makes him think I would want to get physically close to him?
This is pretty basic stuff. The truth is, it is not easy for a man or a a woman to find a good partner. Do you know what you are looking for? If it is just "attention", that is easy to find. If is is a long lasting relationship with a suitable partner, that is not so easy for a man or a woman to find. Get over the idea that you do not get enough "attention". Personally, I am very allergic to animals.
I live in a city and would not date a man with animals. It makes me uncomfortable as I physically cannot tolerate them. I would never ask the man to give up his pet, so when I see a man is an animal lover, I don't respond. It is not that I do not like animals, I just cannot breathe around them. I had one boyfriend with a dog who kept the animal very clean, his home was spotless he had a professional housekeeper and dog groomer.
He also did not allow the dog to lie on the furniture or the bed and was very sensitive to the fact that some people are allergic to animals. I was able to date that man. It is really the exception, however. Other men I know with pets like to lounge with them, sleep with them, have them hang out everywhere.
That's absolutely great, but it does not match up with me. So I do not reply. Think about all the reasons a woman might not reply.
Do you live miles away? Are you spending all your time and money on your children from your previous marriage? Nothing wrong with being a responsible parent, but where does that leave the single woman with no kids you want to date? If she is also divorced with school aged kids, maybe it's a possible match. Women do not "have it easy". And neither do the men. As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 3 main sites I have used, I can categorically say that; even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming Us "men" get ignored or blocked.
I have been blocked many times for just being interested about a lady's profile. I don't say anything sexual and I am always polite. They want someone to chat to and, when they get bored, there's always more men to choose from.
Women will get around messages every few days. They may be crappy messages but it's still a message. All I see woman say on profiles is how men pester them with sexual comments and, if they are not sexual, all they say is; "hi". As a man who has NEVER had a date from the 3 main sites I have used, I can catagorically say that; even if you read a profile, send a nice message and be pretty much, charming I am a woman and just gave up on POF and Eharmony because I did not receive 1 message in the whole 6 months I paid to be on both sites.
Not lewd, poorly written or otherwise. So I don't' see how it is harder for a man who can message anyone he likes, than it is to sit and wait and get nothing. Even "unattractive" men get more attention than that. But if you are an average or worse looking female, you might as well not even sign up. You would be lucky to get get a reply. And as far as average women, let me tell you I'm not one to judge but I know women who by most standards would be considered below average.
She has showed me. And secondly it's hard not to get a bit of any ego or get pick when you feel you have the power of choice. Lastly unattractive men do not get a response period. They either get laughed at, get turned into a joke, or have woman block them or threaten them simply for showing interest even if they did so in a completely normal, acceptable way. I'm not saying whether you had it hard or not. But if you think any mean who isn't on the higher side of average is realistically getting any attention you have alot to learn about the male side of this.
Also why can't you intimate a conversation? I'm female and I've been on Match on and off 3 times. First when I was 50 and looked Then 55 and looked 50, etc. I look great and younger. I had pretty much nothing but weirdos asking for pics naked before we met really? Out of all this, I had a few coffees and drinks I won't go to dinner with someone that I haven't met, as I don't want to waste their money or mine if we don't click a bit, so it's coffee or drinks at first out of many responses, I had no one go out with me that I responded to, I had 2 crazy men I ended up leaving the date after they got weird, and only 1 man who I am still friends with 5 years later.
We never became romantic as there was no spark, but we hit it off as friends, something I wasn't looking for, really, but, I figured, oh, well, a single woman can always use a guy friend, and we help each other out with chores.
He helps me with yard work and woodworking, I help him with laundry and ironing. Not often, but from time to time we hang out. I don't think its possible for someone in my age group to suceed on line. To women who think that men that get no responses on dating sites are genetic losers or something, you couldnt be more wrong.
I get a lot of attention from women outside, im 6 foot 2 and confident and women respond a lot to it. I also look better in real life than on a selfie, id need a professional photographer almost to make me look how I look at myself in the mirror thats what others see anyway.
I've seen similar guys as me, popular guys that try tinder and get zilch. Is it our fault for not wanting to work more on our profiles and hire professional photographers? Anyway I find anyone who spends more than 2 hours on an internet profile is wasting their time. I'll just stick to real life, where women show a lot more judgement. I am 6 foot and confident and well dressed. I have a job and I am reasonably good looking. These 2 gentleman are correct. There is no point to it anymore.
It's a losing game and it's only getting worse. We aren't trying to bat out of our league either, it just is what it is. Online dating is dying and women killed it. This is my situation. My online profile gets less attention than my real life presence I'm a bit ticked.
I currently have 3 women I work with that I'm not really interested in at all totally keep giving me the "I want you look". I don't like going to bars because I'm not much of a public social drinker, and I abhor 1 night stands with people I don't know very well. I'm not very tall 5'11" and apparently good looking enough to always attract attention from someone at least once a month. I've had way more success than most men on dating sites.
Most of the women I've met just want casual sex, typically one night stands. My last two girlfriends from POF were abusive and one pretended to be pregnant.
Most women I've chatted to without meeting just wanted an ego boost or to talk to "friends" on a dating site! Any woman is going to get a ton more genuine guys than a man will get genuine women. It's a numbers game and the numbers will always favour the girls. Let's hear about how terrible it is for women. Ok lil boys and girls, heres what they dont tell you and why you do or dont get replies based on your gender. In the age groups.. First the women on these sites.
Now guys for the most part my brethren are the same except where as the women imply theyre single, you retards take off your wedding rings and replace them with credit cards, because all your looking for is a piece if strange and an ego boost cause you knocked up your ol'ladies and no one told you after she pops out a few lil ones her tits are gonna sag and her ass is gonna get wider than broad st, so you think your entitled to go out and chase young strange until you get caught, then you whine like the bitches you are when you do , and dont wanna give up the old and busted til you have the new hotness commited , basically just like all the women do Dating sites are a waste.
I've spent two years and read a lot of columns like this and put the advice into practice. I've had 6 dates, none of which panned out. I'm a decent guy; solid career, clean background my job requires security clearance , I'm NOT looking for a hookup, I always try to start conversations with their interests, and I even got female friends to vet my profile. Yet while I make it clear I'm looking for a serious relationship, I get hit with "oh, I am just looking for a friend, not dating".
I get to the point of meeting in person Had several who suddenly realize they are not ready to date again I'm 47, most singles my age are divorced. What I've found is the old stereotype is often true; if a guy isn't really hot or really wealthy, there's no interest.
One who I went on a date with actually said I was too nice. One asked me to text a picture I have several in my profile, both headshot and full head-to-toe photos , then literally said "oh I did the "fake profile" test, left most details the same.
Changed my name put up photos of a relatively unknown in the U. The rest of the details job, interests, kids, etc. I not only was flooded with messages, several were the SAME women who had not given the "real me" even a reply. Otherwise, you're going to spend a lot of time staring at your keyboard. Robert, you left one factor out. What would you rate your physical attractiveness on a scale from ? I'd also ask what was the attractiveness of the women you were messaging?
If you feel you're a 6, you should be messaging 4s or less. I'm a man, and I just started using a dating site to see if I could meet someone. It was kind of an accident that I found myself on OKcupid, but I was recently single after many years and figured wth.
Initially I had good success meeting women, and had a few dates. Still they were positive experiences and friendly ladies though one seemed offended My profile was kind of sparse and direct.
I read up some about online dating and made my profile more detailed and joined PoF too. I think I've written decent opening messages, and a few I thought would for sure be interested to talk and then go out as they had indicated a like or some such. I figured most would be courteous enough to at least respond, even if it's a thanks but no thanks.
I always respond when I'm not interested and say why. To me this is just common courtesy. I know many people have different etiquette online then in person and I think that's a bunch of shit. Anyways I can see why some men would get frustrated, and if they express that to you rudely you should be grateful because he just did you a favor showing you that you don't want to date him anyway.
Ladies you have nothing to complain about if in your opinion you're receiving too much attention, even if only a few are quality that's reality anywhere. It kind of equates to complaining about making too much money.
You can't take things personal online and let yourself become jaded and angry. If some jerk sends you dick pics or whatever as his opening line laugh it off and hit your delete button. Honestly it's not like you haven't seen one before, and it's not gonna jump off the screen and bite you lol. Alright I think its time for me to get back to the real world, that fence in my front yard isn't going to paint itself oh how I wish. Hi David - Welcome to reality.
You have to paint your fence. Most women on this site paint their own fences too. Just like you, I do not have eternity to message complete strangers on line. For your information, dating a man that lives in another city is impossible for me. Simply logistically impossible unless he has loads of dollars. Because I cannot afford to take time and money from work to run after some man 50 miles away. Guys - are you reading the profiles and does the woman seem to have anything in common with you?
Does she live nearby? Is she allergic to animals? I find the more details I put in my profile, the fewer messages I receive. That's fine by me because I do not want to have to reply to every guy who lives in a geographical location I have no way to get to.
You would be amazed at the number of men who message me who are not accessible. They live to far away. How can I get to know them if I need to travel over an hour to meet them for a cup of coffee? Really guys - check it out before you think - hey, no one sent me a message. There are loads of guys out there - handsome with good jobs that live near me - who love their dog. Because I am allergic to dogs and I would not expect the person to give up their pet for me. Other guys, handsome, nice property, etc.
How will I date him? Spend a whole day on a road trip to have a cup of coffee with him? It is sort of flattering to receive a message. But it leaves me with a sinking feeling too - this guy is NOT anywhere near me. He has no means to make it easy for us to get together. I have to go paint my fence. I met someone on OkCupid. I don't think it had anything to do with the website OkCupid just know that there are bad people out there and always go with your gut feeling he is currently in jail serving time for grand theft and fraud.
I think all these dating sites should have some type of background check or a place for you can check people out. I did Google this person and nothing came up. If it's too good to be true it is. I'm a male and must say, you have a damn good point about bgc's. Then again, if I may add, if only dating sites would show all the different profiles users have replied to in the past to get an idea what they're REALLY looking for, yuh know? Then calls to ask where we're meeting.
I'm going back to the traditional way of meeting, so you can assess some of the chemistry right off. There's a bit less of the weirdness of online and encountering guys that you know you're not compatible with. Some guys judge based on women not being interested or giving them a chance. Attraction, chemistry and compatibility is a two-way street and some guys assume it should be one sided when they're interested in you. For the ladies in similar circumstances of being stuck in the south, look at the contrast of the men in the north to the Night and day, by that I mean nc is low on decent, educated, articulate legally single men that don't have a few illegitimate kids.
I miss the north, just based on that. The guys down here scare me. I see so many women that have lessened and lowered their standards so much that they're broke down and look it. They will allow the low lifes to leech off of them and to just use them up. These articles written by women on online dating are always cynically amusing to me.
You get so many messages, and some of them are crude and offend you. Or, you get to go on a date and the guy is a jerk and offends you and it doesn't work out. Try being a guy. Try getting maybe one or two messages a month that are either from spambots or women ten years older than you that weigh more than you. One of the hidden powers of the internet is that it can collect information as well as display it.
The vast majority of men on these sites are not good enough for the desires of the vast majority of women, and despite "equality," men are expected to do the work, all of it.
Many, many good men see that they are ignored by girls who are still looking for the hunks, and they check out. Some are still there, and will catch these women when "they're ready to settle down," but most will be too bitter and too wise to settle for a former party girl. Women say the worst thing that can happen is to be raped, but I don't think that is true. I think the worst thing that can happen is to never be desired by anyone for your entire life.
You narcissists need to own the society you made by your own efforts. I would love to see what you look like, as well as your height. Natural selection must clearly be at play in your failed attempts to get womens' interest and it is obviously irking you into misogyny.
Sorry for your bad genetic luck. True man, women HATE nice men but proclaim to be seeking a "nice guy". I am nice with no car and a crappy job. Try getting maybe one or two messages a month There are women who want to get to know you, talk to you, go out on a date with you, talk to you on the phone, see if you're a good man they want to have in your life.
You're just too stuck up to get to know them because you think you "deserve better. There are women interested in you. Get off your high horse and your pedestal, stop being so stuck up about physicality and age and talk to the nice women who took time to message you. Interesting that isnt it, why should he be gratefull yet women be offended? A cousin was dating a 29 year old when he was My sisters all called her a perv to her face.
Stop being so bitter that you splice and dice reality. Going online moaning might not sound like it affects dating but it does. Women can tell guys that moan about this apart from guys that have respect and other guys won't like you. On the Viber group I'm on all male all the guys are fed up with guys that rabbit on about 'friendzone' and other imaginary concepts and won't be friend with guys like that. Overall you just shoot yourself in the foot with this bull crap.
Mate, the above article is actually understating some of the abuse women receive. One friend got tons of downright judgemental messages on one site for putting up a photo of her at a party on the basis of it "not being respectable". Another got a torrent of abuse from one guy on Tinder as she wouldn't respond to the ever innovative 'hi' failing to understand that matching doesn't mean he owns her.
Whenever I meet someone online I worry about scams - female friends have to worry about that PLUS where is safe to meet. It's all too common even offline - I was at a social event years ago where a guy threw a punch at a woman as she wouldn't sleep with him and I could hear him rant about how he had "earnt it" by chatting her up, and only for a female friend holding his arm he didn't connect.
But I'm sure it's just cynically amusing for me to go on about sexual aggression any more. To be fair the above advice on reading profile etc etc isn't exactly going to create a breakthrough. Google "Tolani Osan online dating first messages to reel them in" and read Tolani's article. Until I found this I never had a message reply. I was totally unconvinced but it worked practically instantly. I took a look at a female friend's inbox once and all it was was a collection of "hi" and boring messages.
One quite similar to the messages in the article stood out. I jokingly suggested she try that one - she already had responded. Internet dating isn't perfect but this may change your perspective.
But also stop being so shallow - even if that supermodel wanted you, as soon as she sees that you moan about older women she won't want anything to do with you - this is always evident eventually from talking to someone when they are with friends. I've seen this bitching at parties or when out - for some reason whenever I'm not single they hide in their room, but then as soon as I break up with someone they converge on me patronisingly telling me I'm too nice as if I've never heard that nonsense before and too this that and the other and using aggressive hand gestures in lieu of actual arguments or points to back their cause.
It always ends the same way with that tool going home alone to have a wank while the host agrees to never invite them again, and in one case it worked in my favour once in a nite club as a conversation starter where I wound up taking home the girl he was trying to get with.
Try not being that guy or at least if you are not, try not coming across that way. A woman 10 years older than you? How shocking and sexist! I have not dated an older man in years. None of them can keep up with me. Why is it reasonable for a man to prefer a younger woman and not reasonable for a woman to prefer a younger man?
I am going to have to work til I am in my 70s if I plan on having any cushion. I am a baby boomer and there are almost no one in my age group.
For 70 yr old men a relationship is about them. I love him never loved any man like I love him! I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 6 — 7 years older than me. I am like in late 20s and she is in late 30s I believe. I am really in love with her sweet voice and elegant personality. Her cuteness and politeness has just crushed me …. I am really in awe of her….
She is well educated, highly experienced and skillful in her profession like of Senior Management Cadre and I am like a junior level person in the organization. She regards high of me and has praised me couple of times but strictly for professional reasons since we never communicated so much on personal level as such as I also find it necessary to maintain decorum in the office. I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not.
BDW she is single according to my sources but I am not sure if she is seeing anyone or whether she would approve of this all craziness. Is it just an infatuation??? I am attracted towards a lady who is like almost 8 years older than me. I am like 24 and she is in mid 30ies I guess. The bad thing is she just left I badly want to date her and want to befriend her but I am so much confused if I should approach her or not. I am really confused… I can only hope that if she gets to read this message she realizes herself and approach me… I swear I would grab it like kids do with chocolate.
I am a young 74 and have always attracted much younger men. I have found the real love of my life in a 44 year old Jamaican American who determinedly pursued me and won me. He has no ulterior motives…our sex life is unbelievably wonderful and he is intelligent, funny, deeply caring and my dearest friend. I am oblivious to the opinion of others….. I have had a successful relationship with a man 7 years younger. He was 25, I was Recently I was pursued by the male nurse who is taking care of me from time to time at home.
He is a very distant distant relative…. We have lots in common and traveled together lots and have lots of fun. The problem is that he is 17 years younger…. We talked about getting a surrogate. We talked about marriage. I feel like settling down and maybe having one kid but I am not sure this man is the long haul type even though we have lots in common and share a lot of similar life experiences growing up and feels deep connections with each other.
He said he never met anyone like me who understood him and accepted him with all his shades of grey. I never met anyone with so much complexity in his character. I am 27 years old and have now been dating a 41 year old lady. She is so Beautiful. She has a perfect body. She works out three times a week. That is how I meet her. She has 3 kicks from a 17 year long marriage that ended in a bitter divorce. I could go on for hours about how well we get along and how I think I might be a little in love with her.
So we have been seeing each other for about six months. We became intimate the first time we went out. The problem we have now is that she is pregnant. Yes yes yes she warned me but I, I guess did not take her seriously.
I am not sure of this or anything right now. I mean everything is good now but what about ten years form now. I mean how about 20 years from now. I like older women but I like younger women and women my age as well. I just alway thought that I would marry a girl my age and be married a couple of years before we had kids. I mean I am not I love with thus woman that is going to have my baby. What do I do. Hi guys I really want some mature woman …as I feel they have the deep understanding of life and love.
I feel love is what we feel love is for whom we care about. Am I right marni. He is a wonderful man very gentle and kind. We have been together a year. Very happy and in love. He has no problem with the age difference but I do. He is in college and working 3 jobs. My career was successful and am newly retired.
I feel he is just starting a life I have already made for myself. As it is there is no way he can financially take care of our needs even with my financial resources its tight to take care of my needs plus many of his. I care so much for him but worry about the future and if 10 years down the road will he wake up and reality hit about the age difference now be an issue.
At that pt he will be young enough to find someone else while at my age not so easily. Never dated a younger man and appreciate your professional opinion. Also, with good genes, no wrinkles. For all the obvious reasons, I fought the attraction for weeks — until he won. Well, actually we both won. The year age difference bothers me, but him not at all.
Our relationship began 12 months ago and it continues …. Very informative article, some great comments. I am 38 and my husband is We met and began dating 3 years ago. We have been married or 7 months. I love this man and am so thankful that I have been blesed with such an amazing husband! Prior to meeting my husband I was married to my ex for 16 uears. He was a lying manipulative drug addict. We had two boys together.
We love and respect one anoher unconditionally and our age difference is never an issue outside of my sometimes insecure moments. We are very open and encouraging to one another. Age has never played a role in our love for one another. Anyhoo, we were hanging out as friends for about two months, and I started to become seriously attracted to him. And gave me the best sex of my life! As I said to him last night: Life is full of surprises! Thanks for the article…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on!
Thanks for the articles…age is realy nothing,as long you love and respect each other,life goes on! I am 26 dating a 19 year old. We have a fabulous relationship. There are times when it feels as though I hold the parent role though. Given his age, I cut him more slack than I would a guy of my age. I know that he cannot provide for me right now. However, I have no doubt that he can in the future.
I am not sure what to do. I am moving back home to another state. He cannot come yet due to school and that he does not have his own car or enough money. He insists that he wants to get a full time job, save money an move to b with me.
Should I break things off or should I expect that this could really work out. He will be Can I expect him to seriously want to settle down, become married and have children? He says he will want these things but I question that because of his age. I need a lot of advice. I get really happy to find out so many older women are dating younger men because it lessens my competition.
There is nothing more amazing for me to have such young love and now with the internet, I get pictures practically whenever I want them. Thank you young men for taking yourselves off the market and making my dreams that much easier to achieve.
I currently in love with a man 17 years my junior. We have had our share of difficulties. I think the main problem is I am a alpha women.
Calling him all day,leaving my job in the middle of the day for sex. It maybe to late for me. It looks like some of the words got changed by correction in my article above.. I am 49 and my boyfriend is I stumbled across this site and am glad I did. We have been dating 10 years! I have two older kids he gets along with well and things were great until recently when alot of his friends started to have kids.
We have discussed me having another but due to a medical condition that was stolen from us.. I love him with my soul and he does me,but what I feel is who am I to take that from him? Although he says he d rather have me over kids I deeply feel he would eventually hate me for him never having his own.
Old what to do. So much love,time and history to just throw away,yet at the same time how can I be selfish and hold him back from that. I was so apprehensive to even start to date him but ten yrs later I love him and him me just as the first day.. I risked alot to date him and looks like love or not I will end up alone in this. Just talk thoroughly about kids if u enter into a Dec May relationship.. Hi I have just started dating a younger guy he is 28 and iam At first i was dubious meeting him as he is not yet here i met him on holiday in Egypt.
He is Egyptian and gorgeous guy kind loving and vv matue for his age and i love that abt him he has his head screwed on.
We have been married 2 yrs and 6 months i got married over there to him as he cannot come here yet. But let me tell u ladies out there dating a younger guy is gd you feel young as well. I go to c him as often as i can a nd spend 3 glorious weeks wiv him our relationship is great in all aspects we have gd sex life we trust each other and we understand each othe rand have a lot in common.
I have 2 kids from my previous marriage, son is 16 daughter is 19 i am worried when he finally does come here i want them to accept him eventually as they have never met him. What advice can u give me on that i really want them to accept him oneday.
I am 64 and divorced 22 years. I am very attractive, fit, financially secure, and look early 40s. I did not start my career until I was 50 so I am also in the middle years of a career. I have always dated younger men 7 years to 28 years. They ask me out. I was in a 25 year marriage and have wonderful children and grandchildren. I am now dating just for fun and incredible physical attraction a 38 year old man.
He was married once and does not want to marry again. We are in the same place liberal, easy going, health oriented and have a lot in common. Fun, playful, and sexy. The trick to this is knowing what you need. Why would I date a 60 year old man who is insecure, resentful, wants to settle down and needs Viagra?
Every young man I have been with was the oldest and alpha. More alpha than the older men. My new theory is that so long as neither party wants children and both are over 35 — we are all adults.
Twenty-something men can be immature, and probably not that sexually experienced. Of course, no reason he might not be interested in a woman under 35 if they both want children. A 40 year old man who wants children should be dating a younger woman. And I hate the word cougar. As bad as gold digger. He is very keen to pursue a relationship, I am more wary. He prefers the company of older woman, and likes that I am self confident and independent.
I have been very honest with him but he is still pursuing me. Im in a relationship with a guy 15years younger. Im very happy, if feel loved. Never had the plessure of dating an older guy.
Im Always attracting younger man. Cant say It dies nit frustrates me. Thanks for the article It realy help in boosting My confidence and also Through the comments from others whose been in This particular relationship. I knw i should Be Open minder.
Im Just taking One step at a time. I am currently dating a man 25 years younger. My friends make fun of me and my kids are freaked out.
But once you find an amazing intellectual connection, you just have to go with it. We are compatible intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.
And we found out in that order. He lives miles away for now, so we also have our own long distance challenges. I just wish my children would respect the fact that I am a grown woman and allowed to make my own choices. I respect them and devoted my life to them, making huge sacrifices along the way. Cougars are older woman who look for young men for sex.
That is quite offensive to those of us who are older women and have a long term serious relationship with a younger man. Kranz gmaildot com …. I am 25 years old and my gf is I do love her but Idk how to get over the age thing. I think that motherhood is very stressful sometimes and your girlfriend might be going through some tough changes, maybe at work also. Thanks Marni and all the guys that have made comments. After my divorce a year ago, I went out on a couple of dates but never felt the connection I felt with him.
Thank you for sharing! I am currently dating guy that told his true age that his is 20 yrs old. When we first met he told me that he was 24 ys old. But I he explain to me he lie because he was afraid I wouldnt talk to him he stated to me that he likes dating older women that he had alway dated older women. I love his compaionship and he is mature for his age but deep down he is really young for me and he makes me feel good in all areas and not afraid to be with me I am 40 I dont have any children really have medical issues that I might not have children..
I want a longterm commitment and be happy. I am 43 turning 44 October. I constantly wonder when they will go back to younger girls. I have been lied to and w their tons of attempts to be used as the other woman, I have lost all faith in there being the one for me.
What really worries me is the age different, how can I over come it. We have a lot in common. I found my wife on a dating website 8 years ago when I was 28 and she was She had insecurity about dating me, but I assured her that I was okay with her age. Well, back then…I was. Now I am bored to death. And then she gets frustrated and plays with her sex toys. Besides, she is physically slowing down a lot these days, gaining weight, and I just want to do things and be active.
Our lives are different, and it seems to be going downhill. I feel horrible because I made a marriage covenant with her, but all I think about is being with someone my age or slightly younger.
Bored to death with an older woman, and wish I could start over. That is the single most frustrating factor in our relationship. He is immature… In practically everything. I have to sit and watch him make a mistake or some long winded argument about something we disagree on… when I already know where the road leads.
He has a lot to learn about life which sometimes makes me feel more like a big sister than a girlfriend. Otherwise he will hold us up arguing about which direction to flee. I just started dating a guy who is 15 years younger than me. It is funny to hear that with an older man you have more chances of a good long-term relationship. In my case, I had an older boyfriend and he was cold, treacherous and lied to me…not to mention sex quality.
However, I have dated younger men and they usually are more honest about their feelings, more innocent in their love, and sex is great. With young men this question does not arise, you just live the moment. Well, this is my humble opinion.
I use to give my older sister grief about her younger boyfriend. I guess I was also. However, here I am 14 months deep in a relationship with a 21 year old. I really fought it.. What will people say??
Will I end up parenting him? Will our families accept it?? I took my time. We dated first which honestly rarely happens anymore. He kept asking to if we could eventually label it but i was still weary. Something i kind of meant. One day after 3 months of dinners movie nights and yes, over nights I realized ummm, I was all ready there.
We are on the same level once you stop seeing yourself as an old wise woman and can See past the age barrier. You open up this door like any relationship friendship into a new person. Hes Not living the dorm life. Not some crazy kid looking to get laid. They are out there though and They exist in any age group. I dont really see him as a number anymore.
Because his maturity and other characteristics dont scream juivenile. In any relationship there are obstacles but you truly can not determine someones relationship worthiness by their age. I dont own a home in Cougarville but i can tell you things are good on the other side of the fence.. After the fact, my friend learned that the much younger guy was cheating on her because their sex drives were different and she was like a mom. The other problem was that the woman, my friend, had all the money.
Also, even though she was older, her boyfriend complained about how immature and flirty she was. The other couple, also age difference fairly big, was fine. I found this out the hard way. I think I would be ok with it at my age, but when the opportunity came up I said no. Sure, why not fun for a little while, but then what? To each their own! But I learned that whoever has money has to be careful about getting taken advantage of — man or woman- and there are jerks at every age.
I hate generalizations that older women are better, younger men are better, etc. I think it might be easier for us to relate to people who are older or younger because we treat them differently. We treat older with more respect as opposed to someone young who is just as clueless as any other young person. And a difference at 30 years of age and 50 years of age relationship or 40 and 60 as the ages, is different than 20 and 45, or even 18 and I agreed to date a younger boy because we both knew he would be leaving by the summer to another state.
Unfortunately, by about 5 months into our relationship, I caught feelings, then I felt love for him, by the time the week came for him to move away, I was head over heels in love and heart broken because he was leaving.
Due to financial issues, he was only able to stay out there for one month before he came BACK! Now, he is not an evil person. I love him to death but he is from an old fashioned family, they instilled this notion that a man must marry an younger woman to keep him young.
I guess my question is, how do I find the strength to let him go? What do I do? My blood cousin who is 41 is dating my 23 year old step brother. Puts the whole family in the middle of there relationship. It makes alot of the family feel uncomfortable.
A question for you… What if they break up? What if they get married? That has put our family in a really awkward position. His aunt would now become his mom and his mom would now become his aunt??? The same thing would then apply to her And I still would not be able to have a friendship or bond at all with my brother. Who cares about age? If both people are single at the time when meeting, live it up and enjoy life while you can. I met a young man a year ago. He said he was older and I said I was younger.
We clicked and one night ended up being a lot of nights together.. I quickly worked out he was much younger 20…. Time passed a year later…in fact Last week we had the strangest argument over nothing which led him to or about to tell me he how he felt about me. I stopped him and blurted out that i was 48 not He laughed but was thinking deeply.
I told him that our relationship had limits.. I could never meet his parents. After a few minutes he said.. Because in the end.. We clicked and one night ended up spending a lot of time together.. I could never meet his family nor he mine. However, the contrary can be the case once you decide to get married to someone older than you.
An older woman will always want to appear superior even when they actually know that they are not. I am now When I was 39 I met mat.
It started out as a little summer fling. Well 4 months into it I fell pregnant. I had our first at 40 and our second at We are having problems now that I think can not be fixed.
I will warn you of the age difference. We have had more downs than ups. And yes babies make it harder. Hi, I am 33 years young, good body, good heart, caring, passionate, good listener, honest, and soul winning. I only want true woman with true love. Age has nothing to deal me but your inner beauty is very important which is your heart. My problem is I am black and some women look down on me.
Please tell me what can I do? Is there any woman in this world who will ever accept me for who I am? I was born in Africa and still lives in Africa but not a gold digger,just looking for a good partner who can complete me. Maybe my miracle can come this time. I had past long relationships with older men but none of them worked.
I never liked the term cougar cause I have never ever preyed on younger men. This guy is my first younger man relationship and I have made a tremendous amount of thinking before plunging in this relationship. He has pursued me but we have been friends for 2 years prior. I can say that ours worked because i think he has an old soul and I have a young spirit and we meet halfway.
I also was not married, no kids. Ihave never really had a problem at all about us and never given a flying fuck what my family and friends have thought as I live the life I want.
It has taken its toll on him as I also found myself unemployed after years of earning a high wage, he supported me for 3mths while I was unemployed, as I supported him at one stage too. Now that im back working part time he made an agreement with the family to end our relationship to which we are about to do as I agreed to it because of his family pressure.
Marni, Thanks for the great article. I would appreciate yo insight in to my situation. I turned 40 three months ago, recently divorced with 2 kids. I have met a lovely young man who will be turning 36 later in the year. He is at a stage where he is wanting to settle down and have his own family. But he is still studying to be a doctor and has 3 more years to go. He has been honest from the very beginning about the fact that he wants to start a family soon but he is not comfortable with the fact that he is not in full time employment yet.
The other concern he has raised is the fact that age seems to be against us and he wishes to have his first baby with me soonest. My main concern is that we have just begun our relationship and now there is the issue of the biological clock ticking ; he has been honest to tell me he wishes to have 2 kids.
I fear that we may rush to a commitment and having children and then later on he realises it was a rushed decision yet he so much wishes to settle down right at this moment. Call them Cougars, call them awesome women, one thing is for sure: I trust them far more than younger women. Im married to an amazing woman thats 8 years older than me. The sex is perfect we do our best to please eachother and for 10 years and going we are happy.
Sure having a familly has its ups and downs but through our solidarity,friendship and love we managed to turn negatives into positives and succeed in live and careers….
He is sweet kind and caring though after three months I feel like his interest may be waning he used to. I am worried that as I become more attached he is becoming more disinterested. I really appreciate it…: Hello, I am 46, I get told I look 33, and my boyfriend is We have been dating and living together for a couple of months.
We both have stated our needs. I have already been married and have children older than him. As i said we have discussed this. I am his second love but first as an adult. He is mature for his age. I have never felt so loved by a guy before. I feel amazing with him and he says he loves me and I am amazing too.
I am a bit curious if the relations of others in our lives will frown on this. My kids and his mom. His mom does not know about me. That does hurt a bit, I want him to be open about this. Should we tell anyone about our relationship?
We cannot help who we love. We get along great and we compliment each other. It helps that we have music and movies to name a few things in common. I am trying to keep an open mind in-case he does want to move on.
But we have talked openly about this. So we both know. Help we are in love but too nervous to tell anyone that might be upset. Thank you for your question!
My advice is to have a conversation with her. Ask her what she wants for her future. Share with her what you want.
See if those two visions meet somewhere in the middle. And please let me know how it goes!! Thank you so much for your comment! And I agree with you, trust and respect are paramount to a healthy and happy relationship. Please keep reading and commenting! It sounds like the two of you should have a conversation about the future. Ask him what he sees for himself over the next few years, and listen to his answer.
The best solution here is to have an honest and open conversation! Its encouraging to read about others success with May-December romances!
I was unhappily married to a man my same age for 12 years. I am currently living with a gorgeous man who is 15 yrs younger than me. He is divorced with one child. He was the one that pursued me, and the one that moved the relationship from the casual stage to talking about spending our lives together. I cannot agree more with the suggestions about keeping your feminine, allowing them to be the alpha male, and letting them lead and help you in your life.
With my younger man I accentuate my feminine by cooking for him, making his lunches, ask him for help with things around the house, let him pay for all of our food, our entertainment, etc. I ask his opinion, I often follow his advice. We debate routinely over differences of opinion, we both apologize to each other for things we do wrong, and neither of us makes a major decision without including the other. My decision to give into my feminine and let him lead me is no different than the way my mother interacts with my father who is 8 yrs older than she is.
They have been happily married 47 years. She is neither weak, nor stupid… she just knows the value of embracing her feminine and supporting my fathers need to be a man.
I am softer, kinder and happier than I have ever been before letting my younger man take the lead. Marni, First, great article, stuff like this is what makes the internet great, and thank you for the insight. Maybe you can offer insight…. This is my first trip into a relationship where the calendar number differs more than character. And I mean that. Our last evening out was very touchy feely, and I was getting good vibes off of her.
According to her, the only thing she has a hang up on is the age difference. I am 35 years old and there is this guy, who is 23 years old that I really like. I am divorced and that really hurted me and closed me up to many things. So I recently decided I am ready and he is the first one I have liked for so long. I really want to get married and have a family, and I really like him, I am just not sure we could make it together.
BTW he is serious about this. After a separation and a failed 7 years relationship, met him. I have 3 children ages 17, 12 and 3. We meet when ever he is in town. I want to thank every one who posted on this site, your experiences and comments have been of great help to me. I thank the host for providing proffessional advice on dating younger man. I believe our relationship will work out because we have alot in common.
I believe that trust and respect are vital in any relaionship. I have been dating a guy who is 28 — I am We are coming up to our first anniversairy. I think it has lasted as long because we have had no expectations or put any demands on each other. However we have loved every minute together, never argue and are absolutley in love for the first time for both of us.
We never feel any age issues although I have a very young outlook so mix with his friends and party like I used to but need much more recovery time plus have my own kids to look after. Sadly he is leaving to move to Canada next year and I would never stop him as it was always his plan and he needs to lead his life. I cant imagine how devastated I will be at that time. After so many years and many many admirers, I have never felt the wish to let myself get into a romantic relationship unless he is THE ONE.
Whilst age doesnt matter — life plans do. And my man is 35 years old. We have a very hot and heavy relationship. He likes to sweeze my tits, my ass… every part of my body. And it makes me feel good! He fucks me right, he licks me right, he eats me right… He makes a woman feel good!! So yaw need to find one like I got!!
Hopefully that gets the lines of communication flowing so the two of you can work toward a compromise! I met my friends neighbor a few months back, and was immediately smitten with him. He currently lives with his older sister temporarily and we all know each other, hang out, go out, all get along, etc….
I did not know the feeling was mutual until we were at my friends one night having a few drinks and he kissed me. It just progressed from there. At first I was bothered by the age difference, but not so much now. What are his needs and wants, and how can you create a solution together? I am 40 and my boyfriend is 21 we have been together two years , he has just now decided to start trying to tell my kids what to do..
Love him but they are not going to listen to him do i cut my losses and run? I would just advise you that not all men are going to have that same issue about age and children. I have been thru 2 divorces and 1 long term relationship. I have 2 grown children. He currently is going thru a divorce with no children. We met accidentally and both were in awe of each other. I have never met anyone like him. After a few serious dates he drops me over the kid issue.
I just never thought age could matter, but to him it does. Please keep reading and commenting, and let me know if you have any questions! It sounds like your boundary is working for you, I just warn you against being too strict with it. You never know, you could meet a super sophisticated, content, successful, and experienced 37 year old.
I am 42 and have never dated a man younger than me, until recently. I actually usually attract men 10 to 15 years older than me. Within the last six months though, I have been approached by several guys who look to be at least in their mid to young 30s. I decided to give one guy who is actually 13 years younger than me a chance because he actually has been trying for at least 3 to 4 years our families know each other.
I must say that I am truly enjoying the experience but am nervous about the age issue. Your article has been extremely helpful. I love the idea of staying in my feminine. Thank you for the article. As a 49 yr old, I find myself attracted to younger men because I have more energy than men my age, or those slightly older.
A younger man who is 40, or 41 or 42, is at a different place than someone 30, 31 or They have spent time on their careers; they may have already been married once. So younger is all relative in terms of where each person is. I would date someone in their low 40s, but not someone who is more than 10 yrs younger.
The life stage and relationship readiness differences are too great. Zita, I have not experienced a younger man yet but I agree with you, it depends on the individuals involved in the relationship. Peter — I can feel your passion on this subject. Kids and age are two things that need to be talked about on a couple by couple basis. What happens when he wants kids?? What do you tell him??
He makes me smile and we have been together for 4 months. Trust me by the way he looks he can date anyone and I am very secure plus nobody believes I am 32 I do look We age well in my family. But He is attracted to me being secure and confident. If we have any disagreements we get over it pretty quickly and laugh about it. We still till this day act like we just started dating. We click so well and talk about everything. Trust me we both were concerned about our ages but our friends and families are okay with it.
Good luck to all but trust me it took a not for me to consider dating him. Hey if older men can date younger women why not us?: I am 25, dating a woman who is I have spent good times with her two children, 11 and I recently purchased a beautiful home, will fund it myself, and see it as a potential homestead. As mentioned in your article, the older woman is emotionally secure and has a good bearing on who she is.
A man at any age desires to feel admired and needed by the woman he loves. An older woman may be fully self-sufficient, but she would do well to understand how her man is hard-wired. There you have a winning combo.
Have you seen the statue of Atlas in front of Rockefeller Center, Manhattan? What is Atlas without his globe? I have never really dated anyone my age or older since I turned I am now 51 and still dating younger. My relationship now is wonderful, he is 20 years younger and we are as happy can be. But I am continuing on. Just keep an open mind, stay in your feminine and graciously receive. Good luck and keep me posted! Keep reading and commenting! This article came at the perfect time.
I just met a really wonderful man who is 13 years younger than me. I am dating a younger man. Took me some convincing. Fear that he will leave me for prettier and younger, more fit.
I see him checking out girls sometimes. I also am his first love. I try to be present and experience everything. Once i gave my jealous the boot and started to believe him, we get along great. We just celebrated our anniversary — the first one i have every had but ive never been married either. And thats my first celebrated anniversary??? He would marry me if i let him. I am soooo appreciative of him, his gifts, his attention, i do my best to treat him well. I get to mold him — i accept his honesty.
I have a choice in how i want it to be. I let him lead or at least i try. Good for us both. In our flawed ways. I just want this relationship to be different. Age difference or not. Especially since the age — for women only, note — to which that lovely term has stuck has inched steadily downwards and now apparently starts at like 30 or something …?? Older Women Dating Younger Men: Click here to learn how to become perpetually irresistible — and attract and keep a high-quality man!
Lizza November 5, Nedalee Thomas September 23, I read a lot of your articles. I love reading this one. Patzy September 22, Loco September 19, Michael September 16, Brandon September 9, Misha August 20, Mel August 18, Sure there there are many others, both men and woman, in this situation.
Lost August 6, James August 1, Janine July 28,
Images: dating a man like your father
I want to know if I have any recourse or anyone to report it to. Sorry this was so long winded and all over the place. I have been giving this a good shot for months and actually have made a few good friends but have run into so many Queen bees that I am ready to give up.
For women it is a more pressing issue of safety.
There is no rule that women cannot do the same and it makes so much more yokr for a woman to be older. I think your advice is for insecure dating a man like your father who just want a female they can control. Thank you for thinking i was beautiful. One friend winnipeg dating classifieds tons of downright judgemental messages on one site for putting up a photo of her at a party on the basis of it "not being respectable". Some of you have had this desire since you fatjer very small, some in your teens, some as young men and some
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